The Bachelor: Week V

VEGAS BABY! That suite they're staying in is unreal. I would go on the bachelor just to stay in a room like that.

Shawntel aka I See Dead People got a shopping spree?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! If that were me, ABC would be shaking their heads after 5 minutes saying, "I've made a huge mistake." And the reactions of the other girls were hysterical! Regardless, the two of them are fun together. It seems like they laugh a lot and have a great time, but I don't see anyk ind of deep connection.

The Race Car Date. I would LOVE to drive race cars. I mean I'm not a good driver, at all, but it would still be fun. The fact that Emily is on this date is too much. I honestly can't help laughing because it's that cruel, that evil, that I don't know what else to do. I mean come on ABC. Poor Brad. I do give Miss. Emily O'Hara a lot of credit for driving the car. I hope that helps her move on and say goodbye to Ricky. I also thought it was pretty ridiculous how little empathy the other girls seemed to have for Emily or that fact that her date was at a fucking race track. They all cried and whined about how Brad spent so much time with her...uh, yeah, because he felt like a jackass and had to make it up to her.

Two-on-One date -- Ashley v. Ashley -- The Dentist v. Pollyanna -- It. Is. On. Hilarious, and yet so sad watching these two women compete over him. I thought Pollyanna would go home, but I hoped that she wouldn't. The girl was just way too young for him. She was wearing silly bands, for Christ's sake. I honestly felt bad watching Pollyanna doubt herself like that, but in the end it was The Dentist who got to stay and perform the most cheesetastic routine ever. Thank you, ABC, for giving us a shot of Brad's beefy man thighs hanging out during the rehearsals. And thank you again, ABC, for playing Are You Lonesome Tonight? and making one of the most pathetic exits ever.

Final Thoughts: Michelle's time with during final rose ceremony. The chick is batshit. BATSHIT.

Until next week!