I'm sad the Olympics are over - it'll be two years before we have them again! - but I'm proud of my country and all of our athletes. We kicked some serious ass this year. But that's not really what I wanted to talk to you about. Because I have a gold medal of my own to give out and I think it's totally deserved.
What I really want to talk about are commercials. Advertisers must have had a friggin' field day this winter between the Super Bowl and then the Olympics just a week later. But over the last two weeks one company has stood out to more than any other. And as much I love those E*Trade commercials with the talking babies ("A milk-a-what?!"), I've gotta hand it to P&G. Your mom commercials are the shit. I don't have any kids and don't plan on having any for several years, but I can't watch these commercials without getting all choked up. So the gold medal goes to you, P&G, for excellence in television advertising.
And, my personal favorite:
Now I need a tissue.