Anyone who watches Tosh.0 knows what I'm about to write.A Hate List.A list of things that you hate. The things that just drive you fucking nuts.Hate is a very strong word, and I honestly don't hate too many things, but there are enough that I was able to compile the list that follows. So, in no particular order, here's my Hate List.
The MBTA. Pretty much everything about it, but especially this particular scenario: You're on the T, it's crowded, getting on and off is a hassle for everyone. Your stop is next and you're making a mental game plan of how you're going to maneuver off the train once you get there. Suddenly you feel an annoying tap-tap-tapping at your shoulder. Someone, usually an overweight cat lady type woman or a small balding man with glasses, is elbowing you saying, "My stop is next! I need to get off!" Uh...ME TOO, BUDDY. Patience is a virtue and there is NO need to push to the door while the train is still moving. I've honestly never seen someone not be able to get off where they needed to. Keep your pants on and we'll all make it together.
When people wear gauges in their ears. THAT DOESN'T LOOK COOL.
When someone tells you something, whether it be a juicy piece of gossip or a random interesting fact, and try to pass it off like their own knowledge...when YOU were the one that told them in the first place.
Hayden Panettiere.
When people pronounce it "ape-ricot."
When people mispronounce words. Even worse is that I can't correct them without looking like a total asshole.
Men with long fingernails. So gross. I don't even care if you play the guitar, it's disgusting. Cut that shit.
Women who wear sneakers to work with their business suits. You look fucking ridiculous. Ballet flats were invented for a reason.
Your turn, people. What drives you up a fucking wall? Let it out and let the healing begin!
So last night on my way home from work, I was riding the T and thinking about what I wanted for dinner. My stomach was growling and I knew I didn't have a whole lot of options because I hadn't been grocery shopping in, ohhh, three weeks. And then I had a eureka moment. I knew exactly what I wanted.
Did you know you can turn this... Into this? Homemade pasta. I've made it with my mom a few times, but it's not something we did very often and we almost always used some kind of pasta maker. Where I really learned to make homemade pasta was in Perugia while I was studying abroad. We took a day trip to a local farm, Orsini Farm, and there some old Italian Nonne taught us how to make homemade pasta entirely by hand.
It's super messy, but super easy. Easy enough that I can make it on week night. And I forgot how amazingly fresh homemade pasta tastes! I sauteed some shrimp in garlic, lemon and white wine and turned it into a scampi. Buonissimo!
I guess this would technically be Week XI since I didn't write last week. Then again there wasn't really a Bachelor episode, it was the Women Tell All. But who's really counting?
Let's just jump right into it, shall we?
Chantal meeting Brad's family was, for me, uncomfortable. My roommate Melanie pointed out that she sounded like she was on a job interview. She had just the right (rehearsed) answer for everything. The more she said how much she loves him, the less I believed her. She doth protest (or test(ify)?) too much. And seriously, is she pregnant? I mean what is going on here? Another unsettling thing worth pointing out - Brad's twin brother looks like he is 10 years younger than Brad. How is that even possible? "
Emily meeting family Brad's family was also uncomfortable, but in a way that was endearing. At one point Emily's hands were shaking, she was so nervous! As tragic and moving as Emily's story is, I have to admit that I'm getting pretty tired of hearing it. It's always exactly the same. And WHY wouldn't Brad prep is family on her background? It didn't make for better TV, it made his brother Wesley look like an asshole for asking about Ricki's dad.
Chantals final date was, once again, awesome. This girl always gets to do the coolest activities! I was distracted from the incredible experience they were having by Chantal's horrible boob job. They are just. so. weird. Like two perfectly round, perfectly spaced orbs protruding from her chest. Yikes. Then Chantal dropped this little gem and I was instantly brought back into the moment: "If we can swim with sharks, we can make it through anything." I'm sorry, what? How is that any indication of strength of your relationship? I'm confused.
Emily's final date with Brad was pretty basic and nothing to exciting. Except for the fact that girlfriend was not wearing any shorts under that shirt dress, DAMN. If ABC isn't going to spice up their dates, I guess Emily felt like she had to. Later on when they were hanging out in Emily's hotel room, I really felt for Brad. He was SO nervous, so sweaty, and hyperventilating. He really put himself out there in a big way, and in way that he never had before. But I completely get where Emily is coming from. That's her daughter. Her child. If there was ever a time for her to put him on the spot and give him a hard time, this would be it.
And then the day we've all been waiting for. The Final Rose Ceremony. I think all of us have known for quite some time that Emily would be the one standing there in the end. I did feel bad for Chantal because 1) she looked horrible (funeral? Elvira Halloween costume?) and 2) she clearly had her heartbroken. But Brad was never hers. He's been Emily's from the minute he met her. Emily's dress was stunning and she looked beautiful. On top of that, the proposal felt, for lack of a better word, real. Which is a feeling that's missing in so many reality shows. I've been watching The Bachelor for years and I've never seen a proposal like this.
The After The Final Rose show was panned by a lot of people. I read so many posts online where people were saying how selfish Emily was and how they're not actually in love. That's not what I saw at all. I saw two people who truly love each other who happened to meet under very unusual circumstances and who are now facing the scrutiny of every bored housewife and opinionated college co-ed in the country. They're real people with faults and insecurities just like the rest of us. Their relationship isn't perfect. Just like all of ours. Watching them, I felt encouraged that love, real love, even found in the most unlikely of places, is possible. So thanks ABC. Until next time!
My favorite Sunday of the year. It's the Superbowl, World Series, and Stanley Cup all rolled into one. OSCAR NIGHT! The Oscars were a couple days ago, but I'm still glowing from their aftermath. The glitz, the glamour, the films. I can't get enough.
I was so excited to see Anne Hathaway (one of my favs!) and James Franco host this year. I didn't know what to expect but I was holding out hope that they'd surprise us all and be amazing. I shouldn't have held my breath. I think the highlight of their hosting was Franco hulking out in a full Gentlemen Prefer Blondes get-up. Sadly it only lasted approximately 7 seconds.
All that aside, I thought the show was great. Most of the actors and films I was rooting for won and I got to drink a lot of wine with my friends. Good night, no? All that's left is to share my (not so) expert opinion on this year's Oscar fashion. Confession: I am not a fan of Scarlett Johansson. I think she's completely overrated as an actress and Ryan Reynolds (swoon!) can do a lot better. So is it bad that when I saw her show up on the red carpet wearing...that, I omitted a tiny squeal of glee because I thought she looked so horrible?
God. Damn. The woman is going to be 66 years old. SIXTY SIX! She is practically flawless. Maybe it's something about a Vivienne Westwood gown and the way it drapes over a woman's curves, but I can only hope that when I get to be her age I am half as sophisticated, and sexy, as she is.
Yikes. That is all. Hi, Marissa. While you look amazing for your age, you are 47. And it is not the prom.
Even to people that know me very well, my obsession with Celine Dion makes little sense. (Unless you're James. Then you'd understand because you share the obsession.) She is like a strange, gorgeous French Canadian alien that came down to grace us with her presence. When I heard she'd be singing at the Academy Awards I was ecstatic. Then she showed up in this dress by Giorgio Armani Prive and I died. How beautiful! I usually love Amy Adams red carpet choices. This is no different, I think the dress is absolutely stunning, but the styling is way, way off. I read that her Cartier jewelry is worth over $1.25 million, but it's just too much. Hair up and some more simple stud earrings and this look would have been a top contender.
I just about died when I saw Cate Blanchett walk onto the red carpet. And I mean that in the best possible way. People either loved or hated this Givenchy Couture dress, and I'm happy to say I am wholeheartedly in the first group. I think Cate looks unbelievable.
I can't say I'm really feeling this look, Annie. I love that you embrace your pale skin and dark hair (I embrace mine, too!), but this just makes you look washed out and tired. And the dress, I know it's vintage Valentino, but I think you could have done better. Luckily you made up for it during the broadcast. Honestly, out of all your looks, this was my favorite: Lanvin tuxedo and sparkling Brian Atwood heels? Yes, please.
And finally, my pick for best dressed of the evening... Mila Kunis is lovely and sexy as all hell in Elie Saab Haute Couture. It's kind of not fair that some people are that good looking.
